Trying too hard can completely undermine your attempts at forging meaningful relationships with other people. The kind of people that you want to have as associates, friends, or a significant other need to know who you are as a person. It crosses into unhealthy territory when you become obsessed with crafting the perfect image to display to the world via social media. Doing things! Enjoying their time with their loved ones! The easiest way to counter this type of behavior is to cut back on social media use.
Those things tend to come and go every once in a while. Sure, it feels good to be acknowledged for accomplishing a goal or a challenging task! But the person who is trying too hard often sees that filter down into more mundane parts of their life. Well done! Do you want some sort of medal for it? The constant need for praise and external validation may point to deeper issues that need to be addressed. If you feel an excessive need for validation, it would be a good idea to talk to a certified mental health professional about it.
Are you honest about who you are? Or do you feel like you need to make things up to be seen as a valued or valuable person? People will generally accept a little light embellishment on a story to make it better or funny.
The big lies that people tell to obscure themselves can come from a lot of different places. But now it's 20 years later. Keep in mind that the company you keep is likely to affect your whole outlook , Patkin adds. If an annoying task needs doing and no one else wants to, do you always find yourself raising your hand?
Cut back, at least some of the time, Patkin advises. It's one thing to burn the midnight oil for a week or two in order to finish a major project or close an important deal. But if overly long workdays have become your norm, you must make a change. Without that back up, it can be difficult to delegate. But it isn't optional. If you don't, your business could fall into a rut. Perfectionism is a serious danger, Patkin warns. I asked him how many he had been to.
Turned out he'd been to 10 of the 12 games that season. I told him he was doing a lot better than most of the fathers out there. Although it's human nature, it's a very bad idea to do most things right and hyper-focus on the few you get wrong, he adds. It could be someone else in your office who appears to have the perfect family, or a competing company that appears to have the perfect product.
Either way, Patkin says, spending too much time worrying about what others are doing will hold you back. When has the ability to show virtual appreciation ever been easier?
As a result, you have more collaborators, more influence and more opportunities. You get more done — and you rise in the ranks higher and faster. Make no mistake. The reason, simply put: Trying too hard creeps out your colleagues. Consider the possibility of moving on or finding a new job. How others perceive you usually has more to do with them than with you. When we talk or post things online, we devote up to 40 percent of speech solely on telling others what we think of things, found a Harvard study of what drives us to self-disclose.
Many of these strategies involve relaxing, opening up, and being more of your true self instead of trying to mimic other people or become what you think they want you to be. Here are 10 ways to interact with people in a more natural and authentic way while also making a good impression:.
When you are feeling nervous or awkward, you might notice that your muscles tense up, and your posture becomes rigid. Intentionally taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and letting your shoulders drop can help you relax and let go of tension. Find a posture that feels comfortable and relaxed for you, and avoid letting your body become too stiff. Your brain takes cues from your body and behavior, so taking deep breaths and releasing tension in your muscles can help you feel calmer and more confident, making it easier to interact in a natural way with other people.
When you speak with people who you feel most comfortable with, notice how loud and how fast you normally talk, how much emphasis you use, and what kind of language and phrases you use. This is your natural voice, and if you can use it with everyone, you will find it easier to interact in a way that feels normal and natural.
Silence can feel uncomfortable when you are nervous, but filling every silence can rush the conversation and create a pace that feels hard to keep up with. By slowing down and waiting for the right moment to speak, you can reduce your anxiety and interact more naturally.
Encouraging other people to engage, open up, and talk more will take pressure off you, while also helping you show interest in others, helping to make a good impression.
Negative and self-critical thoughts are like food for anxiety, making it bigger and stronger. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is the most effective form of therapy for anxiety and works by changing anxious thoughts.
We recommend BetterHelp for online therapy, since they offer unlimited messaging and a weekly session, and is much cheaper than going to an actual therapist's office. They are also cheaper than Talkspace for what you get. You can learn more about BetterHelp here. Another way to think more positively is by imagining that people like you, are interested in what you have to say, and have a lot in common with you.
Changing your perspective can help you feel more positive about your interactions. When you are anxious or insecure, you are often too focused on yourself and distracted by your own thoughts, which can make it impossible to be fully engaged in a conversation. When you focus your attention on other people, you can interrupt self-conscious thoughts and feel more present and engaged in your conversations.
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